Red, oh I don’t know if I can! See, I am getting ready to do my first video in a few weeks and I meet with the gentlemen that will be doing the recording this past Saturday.
As we were closing the meeting, he said with a voice of finality…”And wear RED.” I responded, “Red, why red?” He said, “Because it will make you pop.”
I wanted to protest, but I could not even respond because he said it with such confidence and I was trying to determine why I had such a strong negative reaction to his seemingly positive suggestion…to wear RED.
It was then that I realized that I had an unknown “trigger” to a suggestion that I would look good in Red. Something so simply caused a strong negative reaction within me.
A trigger is a hidden internal emotional weight that is made dormant by evasive living and thinking.
When something be it a word, look or situation crosses over and releases that weighted trigger and a flood of emotion comes forth in us, be it internal or external.
Once the “trigger” is released, it can become like a run away train; very had to stop or put back in to it’s dormant state. Thus we find ourselves having an unplanned negative reaction.
Here are 3 triggers that can cause us to negatively react to a positive suggestion:
1) Assumption: A negative reaction to a suggestion can be based on an unfounded predetermined outcome; that is not accurate; but seems in our heart and mind as being real and even factual.
Example: When he suggested I wear red, I had a negative reaction, because I assumed it would be wrong and distasteful for a plus size women to wear red.
The trigger was based on an experience I had earlier in my life; and I just determined “not” not to wear red again. 🙂
But the reality was I already wore red and it is currently on this site. My daughter picked my wardrobe for the photo shoot and she picked the ONE red piece I own. Click hear to see it.:)
2) Perception: A negative reaction to a positive suggestion can be based on a perception gained through previous experience or crisis.
Example: My perception is that I would stand out like the red bottle cap in the picture above, and it made me feel uncomfortable.
The trigger was that for most of my life when I stood out, it caused resistance; so my emotions resists before others can.
But the reality was that I was the only one in the video, so I will stand out; I want to stand out; because it is my passion to inspire others through the video.
3) Rejection: A negative reaction to a positive suggestion can be based on the fear of rejection for the obvious rather than the important. Being rejected because of something trivial, is easer that taking a chance on being rejected for my passion.
Example: My fear of rejection, rejection of taking a bold stand for my passion on legacy narrowed down to the color of my clothes because it was easier than the fear of rejection for my passionate message of legacy.
The trigger was that fear of rejection is connected to painful relationship memories; so my self preservation resists exposure of heart issues; like my passion about legacy.
But the reality was that with or without the video or my “wearing red” passion can not be hidden or capped.
Friends, it is my desire to inspire you that the next time you find yourself negatively reacting to a positive suggestion that you will, stop and and check for your triggers to see why you are reacting and how you can embrace the change of reaction so that you can live inspired, choose liberty and embrace change in your life and in others.
What are your triggers?
