What NOT to do with a Life Event Change…

Event of ChangeIt was March 31, 1989 and I had requested a meeting with my Pastor.  I was sick for over four months and no one could tell me what was wrong.
Test after test, visit after visit and I was still sick and loosing weight daily. I could not sleep, and I was so sick sometimes I had to pull over and “toss my cookies” along the road on my way to work.
So here I sat waiting for my Pastor, a member of his church for over 15 years, I was nervous, nauseous and trying to remember what I wanted to say to him.  
As Pastor entered, I stood and he embraced me asking, “So why are you here to see me today?”  I told him that I thought maybe I was dying because I am so sick and no one seems to be able to tell me what is wrong. I went on to tell him that I had an appointment with another doctor next week, but I did not have much hope because the others had not been able to help me.
Pastor was a man of few words, and it did not change that day, we talked and he prayed for me and I went on to work.  I had more peace, but I was still in the fog of a mixture of denial, fear and just wanting to feel better.
A week later I was waiting for the NEW doctor to see me.  I was sick, had a headache and felt exhausted. The doctor walked in with my file and it was about 3 ” tall.  He laid the file on the table and said, “Ok, why are you hear to see me?’  I was like WHAT? But without giving me time to respond, he said, let’s start at the beginning. An internal exam.
Next I find myself on a table, and the doctor looks up over the cover and says again…”Why are you here to see me?’  Again without giving me time to respond, he places a small box on my stomach and I hear the sound of running horses.  I was stunned, am I dying from the inside out?
The doctor then stood up and said, ‘Do you know what that is?” “That is your baby’s heartbeat.’  I hear it, but could not take it in.  I had been married 17 years and from the advise of the doctor, my husband had a vasectomy two years ago.  Baby’s heart beat!  I passed out!
Next thing I knew, I was awaking abruptly from smelling salts by the nurse.  It turned out I was almost five months pregnant.  I was not dying, I was having a baby!  Enter, Event of Life Change!
I was 37, married 17 years, recently promoted to my goal of Director with a husband that just quit his job to pursue a small business opportunity; and now five months pregnant.
So, how did I handle this change that would forever effect my life?  Not well! Not because I did not want the baby, but I had no experience in being a Mom; I had no reference point.  So I did with this news the same thing I did with all unfamiliar changes.  I put it on my To Do List!
Due Date: September 1, 1989 – Preparation for baby.
1) Create need to buy list
2) Decorate nursery
3) Interview daycare facilities
That was my list, that was it!
And live would go on with little change.
I am sure you know by now that I did not handle this change well.
When change comes in the form of a life event, such as: birth, relocation, divorce, marriage, death or career loss just to name of few; here are three things not to do:
1) Do not ignore that your life will never be the same as it is the day the change enters your life. Familiarity is comfortable and comfortable is what our soul wants. No matter how good or bad our current circumstances are; we resist change.
SO, when change comes, embrace it and allow your heart and mind to receive the understand of what this change will look like a month from now, or a year from now.  As I sat in the car, after finding out that I was pregnant; I had thoughts of holding my baby, taking my baby to school, making my babies birthday cake; then I shook my head and said ok, more to do items.  The messages of change came, but I did not embrace them.
2) Do not try and plan future until you accept today and live a few tomorrows.  My nature is to plan, I train others how to plan, so my base response was to make the to do list. Even if you are not a planner, we all have a need to place things, finding a place for the change, because we can not find anything of our past to compare to it, we want to find a place to set it; until we can look at it for a few minutes.
SO, when change comes, get the help of others in your life, family or church that have embraced this change and let them help you place it, set it, in a way that you can see all sides of the change, not just the front or the one side of it.  This will give you the ability to see the bigger picture.
3) Do not have warped expectations of yourself or others. Event change has rippling effects that are not seen when the change first becomes apparent.  For me, just when I thought I had gotten my feet on the ground and was back to work; I found myself in the emergency room with what I thought was a miscarraige, I was so scared.
It turned out that I had a gall bladder attack, and had to be on a special diet. Part two of this change had been revealed.  My expectation was ok, I am pregnant, adjust and go on.
SO, when event change comes, reduce the number of expectations you have so that you can embrace the change in fullness as it is revealed.
It is my desire to inspire you to Embrace change in your life and the lives of others, with joy, peace and grace so that you can “Take the Lead of Your Legacy ” and be the light and encouragement that you are created to be.
Event change will come, so remember these three small tips:
1) Do not ignore event change in your life and the life of those your love.
2) Do not try and plan future things until you have lived life for a season within the new changes
3) Do not have warped (or unreal) expectations of you or others during the full revealing or impact of the event change.
What event change tips have you learned in life?

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Loretta

    How very helpful this is in so many ways! Once again a great post.
    Thank You!

    1. Jane R Babich

      Thanks so much, I appreaciate your feedback and committment to encourage me by reading my post regularly.

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