It has been a long time since I have written a blog post. Why? Well, that is a long, long story that will probably come out over time, but for today, let me say that I was disappointed and I allowed that disappointment to stop me from doing something I did for me… write!
I wrote the blog because I enjoyed doing it and hoped that what I wrote would help, minister to or maybe interest readers… that’s you :).
Disappointment has been an emotion that I have struggled with most of my life. Not because I have had a difficult or bad life because actually, I have had a good life and a blessed life. Just like most of you, I have experienced loss, hard times, and made some bad decisions, but that is not what made me disappointed, heck, that is just life, right?
Disappointment has followed me because I continually sent an invitation to it and as a result, circumstances delivered my invitation and disappointment showed up. Over this silent time, I learned that expectation is not the same as trust, hope or even faith in someone or something, these are all good practices, even rewarding ones when we connect them in a healthy direction.
It starts with setting expectations. Expectations the dangerous invitation that I send to disappointment because I connect my self-worth or others value of me to that expectation. There is the problem, I am unable to have an expectation without that connection and in that, as they say, is the rub!
In the connection of my self-worth or value to someone’s action or lack thereof is the invitation delivered and received for disappointment to arrive at my doorstep with not only the key to my home but my heart.
I rejoice with those that can separate expectation from your value or worth, but my over 65 years have proven to me that I cannot and instead of trying to change, challenge or coverup that part of who I am; I instead have laid down the expectation measuring stick and therefore not extending the invitation anymore to the heart crusher named disappointment.
I also learned that getting rid of disappointment is as hard as it is for my employer to terminate a non-performing employee. It takes great validating and working with the employee and then waiting and working again to slowly, arduously getting the employee or disappointment their walking papers. And just like with the employee once they are successfully released, disappointment leaves damage that needs to be repaired, neglected areas that need attention and maybe even some cleanup and clearing out before my heart is ready to start again being me, living my life and finding joy.
It is still my desire to inspire you. So ask yourself what causes your disappointment? Then follow its breadcrumbs back to the opening or invitation and do the work to close it! You and those that love you will be blessed that you evicted disappointment from your emotional DNA.